On Chaos

Sun squeezed through the blinds. I peered back, squinting my eyes--was it really morning? My room turned into a collage of blue, khaki, red, and green. Golden striped Towels soaked the damp carpet. My desk supported the minds of sages, and I hardly remember visiting any of them, laughing with them, or saying goodbye. I arose, looked around and gathered my thoughts. Last night felt like a drunken stupor. Staring at the sheets I ask, “How did I get here?” This is the portrait of chaos, and we all experience it.
This week I wrote prayers thanking God for chaos because it reminds me of the limitation my own psyche and the dependence I inherit as a created being. Chaos--the maddening sensation when the world shatters before your eyes and you’re helpless. The big kid kicks your sandcastle over, a good friend betrays you, you’re evicted, you total your car, your heart gets broken, you have no idea what your plans are for life, you have no direction--you’re lost. Chaos doesn’t come from the objective state. Truth be told, we live chaotic lives ignorant of the fact. Playing behind the tapestry, while a veil guards our hearts to reality of a horrific reality on the other side. Sometimes we get a peek and it dilates our eyes, draws the blood from our faces, and paralyzes us to the bone--scares us to death. That’s the eternal moment.
I believe in God’s sovereignty because of chaos. Not because of the existence of chaos, but because of my inability to comprehend where it comes from and where it leads me. The uncomfortable truth that outside factors directly influence my circumstances and leave me hopeless is a humbling reality. When I fly, I always grab the window seat because I can look down over the land. I love to see the sun set over the horizon while the land below looks drawn out and meticulous--it’s a heightened perspective. This perspective, however, doesn’t exist on the ground. On the ground I’m fighting through trees, making trails through land, navigating what I can only see. If only I had a plane.
This isn’t sharply articulated, just a rambling on the human experience...

your thoughts?


-Trey-

The Experiment

In order to process life and everything in it, I've constructed a simple blog where friends can go to read (and contribute) to what is written.

Topics will range from cover all aspects of life, but looking at them through the lens of a Christian perspective.

Please join, contribute, disagree, argue (without being cruel or cutting) with respect and dignity.

I hope to post my weekly thoughts to process what is learned. Who knows, you may get some creative writing every now and then.

Hello blogworld,

-Trey-